~D3r3k's Daily Gripe~
GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!!!!~~~~
CAN'T BELIEVED THAT I HAVE BEEN HIBERNATING FOR SO DARN LONG!!!!!
I have no idea on how n where to start.....was reading at those previous postings of mine...just can't help but brought me down to my memory lane....all I can say is that I MISS MELBOURNE SO MUCH......
I am so glad tat 4 years+ in Australia have changed me so much. I am definately not the 18-year-old Derek Cheong Hoi Mun from Ipoh anymore, I am someone different, much more matured and much more complex in every aspect.THANK YOU AUSTRALIA.....
But ONE thing is for sure, I have lost the confidence in me. Perhapes, becoming too realistic is something I will associate with negativity.....meaning that I will tend to see things negatively in most cases.Too "much"(considering tat its uncountable) things happened within these 4 years+...I've met so many people from so many backgrounds and cultures.Good n bad, kind n nasty, love n hate etc etc....
Aimless n directionless will be the best words to describe me.I can't say tat I have made the wrong decision of coming back, but one thing is for sure, I will never appreciate a thing until I have lost it.
My current favourite words of wisdom:
"IT TAKES TWO HANDS TO CLAP"
"A NEEDLE CAN'T BE PAINFUL UNLESS YOU POKE IT ONTO YOUR OWN SKIN"
"IMM"( For those who know me lately, they will know the meaning of these few alphaberts)
"HAPPINESS IS ALL I AM ASKING, IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK FOR?"
You guys know wat?....................I still dunno how to start.
Lots more to come.Wait for new postings prolly tmr ok?
Derek at 10:00 PM I get the message.....
It's just amazing how naive I am, thinking that everything will be fine after so many hardship and problems that I have been through for these couple of years in my life....
People can be darn cruel when they are nasty, it's just a 180 degrees turn from a super dooper fantastic person to someone who's basically a fucked up person. Sad but still....my life has to move on, and I should not be sad cause it's not worth a penny for me to be sad.
I need to stay focus, though its extremely hard to do so. Can anyone spare some remedies for me to cure this situation???
Frankly speaking, deep down the little naive Ipoh kid is still with me, I am still the temperamental, emotional, and genuine Derek whom I reckoned have been changed.
I can be a fucking idiot sometimes!!!! Trusting ppl again n again is not funny, considering that I have been betrayed over and over again...... How am I going to do in the future where I need to be realistic and "fake" living in the working world????I might not be able to handle those issues....
All in all, I am very much hurt till I want to just leave this country for good ASAP......though I also know that it's not the correct way to just avoid the problem....but I see no other choice...
Derek at 11:10 AM I don't give a damn!!or am I???.....
What a normal day I had....woke up at 12pm, feeling very very tired and dizzy, it's like holding a brain that weighs a tonne. But what to do? I still need to work....
Work was as shit boring as usual, but, once again, what to do??? I still need money to spend....
Met up with Cathy for dinner, Trudy was scheduledly late, so she gave it a miss. And there we go, talking nonsense all the way and just gossiping other ppl's business, wat da heck?!!THAT'S SOOOO NOT ME,OR IS IT??LOL!FAR OUT!!!!~~~ Ah well......at least, it was sorta "therapeutic" for us.....like got away from reality like 2 seconds.
I was telling Cat that I couldn't be borthered comforting ppl who don't know how to help themselves, don't know how to control their emotions and ppl who just throw tantrums to everyone anytime when they are in the bad mood. I was WRONG.....She told me that I do care a lot, prolly just with different approaches, come to think about it, yea, she might be true, cause I'm not very emotionally supportive, as in I won't go:" OH MY GOD dear, are you alright?? Come, lemme give you a dearly hug/some words of nice advices etc etc...." Instead, I would go:" yea, u ask for it! stop living in yer dreams, WAKE UP!!!~~" That's maybe how I term my "same intentions, different approaches" method of support.
It's sad to know the fact that ppl hate you when u say that when ur intentions are totally genuinely good, but seriously, I should understand why....
So many self doubts today.....oh well, at least it's a normal day. =P
Derek at 10:23 PM
Welcome to Moomba Waterfest 2005, this year celebrating 50 years of fun..........
Moomba is a timeless tradition of family fun and just when you thought it couldn't get any better, here comes the 2005 Moomba Waterfest 50th Birthday Extravaganza!!!!!!~~~~
Sounds amazingly good, isn't it? But in fact, NO!!!
It's just like any other years where they have some expensive games and rides that I can never afford to play *or should I say never worth for me to play*, millions of ppl squashing each other etc etc...
Having said that, I must admit the annual waterfest fire show was fantastic, never ever let me down, which is mainly the reason why I went there, and of course, hanging around with friends is always a pleasure. Enjoyed the moment where all my friends sitting on the hill, watching the fireworks together, it just feels good. But come to think of it, this is my third time and might be my last time to Moomba, so it's kinda sad if I think that way, oh well.....
Choon Hao left Melbourne this morning, I hope he enjoyed this trip heaps, I think he did, and the amazing thing was, he only spent around a thousand dollars in three different cities in three weeks, WHAT A BUDGET TRIP!!!
Anyway, after these couple of days sharing a room with this dude, I must say, both of us had changed, dramatically, to good or bad, I can't conclude that, but one thing's for sure, we are still great buddies!!!
Perhapes this is how a friendship should work, constantly adapting each others good and bad points, if it's adaptable, then the friendship will last a lifetime; In contrast, if we can't tolerate the fact that people change through time and through different environments, friendship would be much harder to sustain in the matter of years.
Lastly, I just wanna let you guys know that with the help of summer weather, my hair "visual enhancing tool" makes my head very itchy.......
Derek at 12:17 AM More Friends....Good or Bad?
I have come to a conclusion that the more languages you speak, the harder for you to speak any language "perfectly". The reason is because when you see so many ppl around who come from various backgrounds speaking various languages, you, or at least myself will tend to "break the ice" by speaking the language that they speak, in order to sort of communicate better with that person, and hoping to form a good friendship etc etc., which I initially, thought that it's very advantageous especially when you are living in a multicultural country.
But somehow, knowing too many languages gave me "some" negative implications, I am less should I say, "faithful" to my first language??? And as time goes by, the relationship between my mother tongue language and I deteriorates........Doesn't mean that I am not going to speak that language anymore, doesn't mean that I have changed, nor I felt that the language is useless for me.....Its just that sometimes, situations do not allow me to speak the language that I used to speak.....and thus for my understandings, I have been "sentenced".
Its just the reflections that I have received recently, but what can I do to change this fact?? I am not going to dump my first language, neither will I stop speaking other languages anymore....So, what should I do???Change myself for the others or remain the same as I don't need to constantly accomodate to what situations always want me to do???*confused*
I am not a bad person, I know that deep down and I always hope that the people around me happy and willing to accept my attendance but being a typical leo makes me wonder how much more can I take with regards to how the surroundings perceive me as a person???
Derek at 12:28 PM LONG TIME NO SEE!!!~~~~
OMG!!!!! I haven't been posting anything here since like last year, dear ppl, how unbelievably lazy I am, far out!!!!!!!~~~
Too many things, uncountable events happened since October, should I rephrase that to too "much" things then?
All in all, I am very satisfied with my life so far, enjoyed the whole summer season, though I was like a full-on hardcore workaholic at Myer till everyone calls me Mr."Can-I-Have-More-Shifts" in my department.
Oh well, as the chinese saying goes, " if your horse is dead, you need to climb down and walk with your two legs, and not sitting there waiting for it to move further "..........Hmm....if you know what I mean cause it doesn't really make sense to me either...but anyway....
As quoted from a friend, I think I can use "dead fish ressurection" to describe my life at the moment, somehow, I feel good about everything, my hopes n dreams, my friends and family. Though I am having a hectic semester this year, I still feel relax and am currently enjoying Uni, like for the very first time, life has been great overall.
This might be due to the fact that I'm leaving Australia in prolly 3 months time...and I am stepping into another chapter of my life, therefore, I am kinda excited about it and a bit eager to finish my Uni once and for all. Time passes like a blink of an eye, its just amazing how much I've grown to become this ME.....err....I think I am getting a bit philosophical, or at least I'm heading that direction....
Anywayz, why don't I just do a brief summary of what has been happening since my last posting:
1)Had aweful final year exams
2)Worked like a mad cow for Myer and dealed with unlimited amounts of customers expecting royalty treatments during boxing day...WTF!
3)Passed all my subjects, and an offer for a supp paper though I already passed the subject. Win-win situation, woohoo!
4)Went for a trip, a fantastic, unforgetable one, its just amazing!!!
5)Took a summer course subject, Flora of Victoria, haha....I ended up liking the subject which I think is pretty good, and I also learnt to appreciate flowers and trees...err.....
6)Bought a hair "visual enhancing tool", its just flawless!!
7)Got my 10-year-old and 8-year old keloids removed....still pending for excellent results....finger crossed!!!
8)Didnt notice Guy Sebastian walking passed me at all in Crown.
9)Too lazy to sit for the supp paper exam
10)Started my last semester of Uni.
I have come to a point where I dont know what else to write and don't feel like writing anymore, FYI, it's already 2am and I have got class in 8 hours time, so lets hope that my next blog will be posted as soon as possible LAH!OK hor?
Till then, ciao amigos!
Derek at 12:53 AM A busy new life; same old lazy me
It's confirmed, ages ago, that I am a super ultra huge procrastinator, but what have I done to change this life threatening fact???? NOTHING!!
Needless to say that I've spent the whole mid-sem break playing playing playing and nothing but play. All the I swear, I'm so gonna do it, I'm determined, I'm 110% sure yadaa yadaa yadaa are just rubbish words that came out from my mouth!!Thinking that I am going to work hard to achieve good grades for this semester, but seems like history might repeat again. NOOOO............*drowning*
Oh well, life has been very packed with entertainment lately, I have no time for everything, including my daily scheduled 8-12 optus free time chat. THIS IS RIDICULOUS!
Am so glad that I've met this bunch of new friends, we share the same interest, same artistic thoughts, and we are VERY VERY critical, just can't help but "acting" so professional. LOL!! But it's for the good purpose, as the chinese saying goes," no critics, no improvement".
MAN.....looking at the clock in Baileau, 10.50am, gotta rush for next class......will be continue...
Derek at 10:35 AM THANK YOU PPL FOR ALL THE SUPPORT AND WISHES
Really appreciate how you guys supported me, I felt that I've disappointed u guys....=(
I have done my best and I must say the rest are really very good. None of us can 100% guaranteed to get into top 4, however I am really happy that Trudy got into top 4, I knew she could go very far right from the start. Congrats Trudy!!!
Oh well......perhapes I am just not good enough, or not good looking enough to get some extra points, or just mainly because the guys are all very similar standards, it's harder to judge them.....Anyway, the competition is over, now I have to face the reality and work really hard for my studies!!!!! =( again.
The show was a successful one, so happy that I've known these wonderful finalists who are not kiasu at all....they are very supportive to each other...cheers to u guys!
Sading now.......gimme some time to chill out before writing another entry...
Derek at 3:13 AM
CAN'T BELIEVED THAT I HAVE BEEN HIBERNATING FOR SO DARN LONG!!!!!
I have no idea on how n where to start.....was reading at those previous postings of mine...just can't help but brought me down to my memory lane....all I can say is that I MISS MELBOURNE SO MUCH......
I am so glad tat 4 years+ in Australia have changed me so much. I am definately not the 18-year-old Derek Cheong Hoi Mun from Ipoh anymore, I am someone different, much more matured and much more complex in every aspect.THANK YOU AUSTRALIA.....
But ONE thing is for sure, I have lost the confidence in me. Perhapes, becoming too realistic is something I will associate with negativity.....meaning that I will tend to see things negatively in most cases.Too "much"(considering tat its uncountable) things happened within these 4 years+...I've met so many people from so many backgrounds and cultures.Good n bad, kind n nasty, love n hate etc etc....
Aimless n directionless will be the best words to describe me.I can't say tat I have made the wrong decision of coming back, but one thing is for sure, I will never appreciate a thing until I have lost it.
My current favourite words of wisdom:
"IT TAKES TWO HANDS TO CLAP"
"A NEEDLE CAN'T BE PAINFUL UNLESS YOU POKE IT ONTO YOUR OWN SKIN"
"IMM"( For those who know me lately, they will know the meaning of these few alphaberts)
"HAPPINESS IS ALL I AM ASKING, IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK FOR?"
You guys know wat?....................I still dunno how to start.
Lots more to come.Wait for new postings prolly tmr ok?
Derek at 10:00 PM I get the message.....
It's just amazing how naive I am, thinking that everything will be fine after so many hardship and problems that I have been through for these couple of years in my life....
People can be darn cruel when they are nasty, it's just a 180 degrees turn from a super dooper fantastic person to someone who's basically a fucked up person. Sad but still....my life has to move on, and I should not be sad cause it's not worth a penny for me to be sad.
I need to stay focus, though its extremely hard to do so. Can anyone spare some remedies for me to cure this situation???
Frankly speaking, deep down the little naive Ipoh kid is still with me, I am still the temperamental, emotional, and genuine Derek whom I reckoned have been changed.
I can be a fucking idiot sometimes!!!! Trusting ppl again n again is not funny, considering that I have been betrayed over and over again...... How am I going to do in the future where I need to be realistic and "fake" living in the working world????I might not be able to handle those issues....
All in all, I am very much hurt till I want to just leave this country for good ASAP......though I also know that it's not the correct way to just avoid the problem....but I see no other choice...
Derek at 11:10 AM I don't give a damn!!or am I???.....
What a normal day I had....woke up at 12pm, feeling very very tired and dizzy, it's like holding a brain that weighs a tonne. But what to do? I still need to work....
Work was as shit boring as usual, but, once again, what to do??? I still need money to spend....
Met up with Cathy for dinner, Trudy was scheduledly late, so she gave it a miss. And there we go, talking nonsense all the way and just gossiping other ppl's business, wat da heck?!!THAT'S SOOOO NOT ME,OR IS IT??LOL!FAR OUT!!!!~~~ Ah well......at least, it was sorta "therapeutic" for us.....like got away from reality like 2 seconds.
I was telling Cat that I couldn't be borthered comforting ppl who don't know how to help themselves, don't know how to control their emotions and ppl who just throw tantrums to everyone anytime when they are in the bad mood. I was WRONG.....She told me that I do care a lot, prolly just with different approaches, come to think about it, yea, she might be true, cause I'm not very emotionally supportive, as in I won't go:" OH MY GOD dear, are you alright?? Come, lemme give you a dearly hug/some words of nice advices etc etc...." Instead, I would go:" yea, u ask for it! stop living in yer dreams, WAKE UP!!!~~" That's maybe how I term my "same intentions, different approaches" method of support.
It's sad to know the fact that ppl hate you when u say that when ur intentions are totally genuinely good, but seriously, I should understand why....
So many self doubts today.....oh well, at least it's a normal day. =P
Derek at 10:23 PM
Moomba Waterfest 2005
Welcome to Moomba Waterfest 2005, this year celebrating 50 years of fun..........
Moomba is a timeless tradition of family fun and just when you thought it couldn't get any better, here comes the 2005 Moomba Waterfest 50th Birthday Extravaganza!!!!!!~~~~
Sounds amazingly good, isn't it? But in fact, NO!!!
It's just like any other years where they have some expensive games and rides that I can never afford to play *or should I say never worth for me to play*, millions of ppl squashing each other etc etc...
Having said that, I must admit the annual waterfest fire show was fantastic, never ever let me down, which is mainly the reason why I went there, and of course, hanging around with friends is always a pleasure. Enjoyed the moment where all my friends sitting on the hill, watching the fireworks together, it just feels good. But come to think of it, this is my third time and might be my last time to Moomba, so it's kinda sad if I think that way, oh well.....
Choon Hao left Melbourne this morning, I hope he enjoyed this trip heaps, I think he did, and the amazing thing was, he only spent around a thousand dollars in three different cities in three weeks, WHAT A BUDGET TRIP!!!
Anyway, after these couple of days sharing a room with this dude, I must say, both of us had changed, dramatically, to good or bad, I can't conclude that, but one thing's for sure, we are still great buddies!!!
Perhapes this is how a friendship should work, constantly adapting each others good and bad points, if it's adaptable, then the friendship will last a lifetime; In contrast, if we can't tolerate the fact that people change through time and through different environments, friendship would be much harder to sustain in the matter of years.
Lastly, I just wanna let you guys know that with the help of summer weather, my hair "visual enhancing tool" makes my head very itchy.......
Derek at 12:17 AM More Friends....Good or Bad?
I have come to a conclusion that the more languages you speak, the harder for you to speak any language "perfectly". The reason is because when you see so many ppl around who come from various backgrounds speaking various languages, you, or at least myself will tend to "break the ice" by speaking the language that they speak, in order to sort of communicate better with that person, and hoping to form a good friendship etc etc., which I initially, thought that it's very advantageous especially when you are living in a multicultural country.
But somehow, knowing too many languages gave me "some" negative implications, I am less should I say, "faithful" to my first language??? And as time goes by, the relationship between my mother tongue language and I deteriorates........Doesn't mean that I am not going to speak that language anymore, doesn't mean that I have changed, nor I felt that the language is useless for me.....Its just that sometimes, situations do not allow me to speak the language that I used to speak.....and thus for my understandings, I have been "sentenced".
Its just the reflections that I have received recently, but what can I do to change this fact?? I am not going to dump my first language, neither will I stop speaking other languages anymore....So, what should I do???Change myself for the others or remain the same as I don't need to constantly accomodate to what situations always want me to do???*confused*
I am not a bad person, I know that deep down and I always hope that the people around me happy and willing to accept my attendance but being a typical leo makes me wonder how much more can I take with regards to how the surroundings perceive me as a person???
Derek at 12:28 PM LONG TIME NO SEE!!!~~~~
OMG!!!!! I haven't been posting anything here since like last year, dear ppl, how unbelievably lazy I am, far out!!!!!!!~~~
Too many things, uncountable events happened since October, should I rephrase that to too "much" things then?
All in all, I am very satisfied with my life so far, enjoyed the whole summer season, though I was like a full-on hardcore workaholic at Myer till everyone calls me Mr."Can-I-Have-More-Shifts" in my department.
Oh well, as the chinese saying goes, " if your horse is dead, you need to climb down and walk with your two legs, and not sitting there waiting for it to move further "..........Hmm....if you know what I mean cause it doesn't really make sense to me either...but anyway....
As quoted from a friend, I think I can use "dead fish ressurection" to describe my life at the moment, somehow, I feel good about everything, my hopes n dreams, my friends and family. Though I am having a hectic semester this year, I still feel relax and am currently enjoying Uni, like for the very first time, life has been great overall.
This might be due to the fact that I'm leaving Australia in prolly 3 months time...and I am stepping into another chapter of my life, therefore, I am kinda excited about it and a bit eager to finish my Uni once and for all. Time passes like a blink of an eye, its just amazing how much I've grown to become this ME.....err....I think I am getting a bit philosophical, or at least I'm heading that direction....
Anywayz, why don't I just do a brief summary of what has been happening since my last posting:
1)Had aweful final year exams
2)Worked like a mad cow for Myer and dealed with unlimited amounts of customers expecting royalty treatments during boxing day...WTF!
3)Passed all my subjects, and an offer for a supp paper though I already passed the subject. Win-win situation, woohoo!
4)Went for a trip, a fantastic, unforgetable one, its just amazing!!!
5)Took a summer course subject, Flora of Victoria, haha....I ended up liking the subject which I think is pretty good, and I also learnt to appreciate flowers and trees...err.....
6)Bought a hair "visual enhancing tool", its just flawless!!
7)Got my 10-year-old and 8-year old keloids removed....still pending for excellent results....finger crossed!!!
8)Didnt notice Guy Sebastian walking passed me at all in Crown.
9)Too lazy to sit for the supp paper exam
10)Started my last semester of Uni.
I have come to a point where I dont know what else to write and don't feel like writing anymore, FYI, it's already 2am and I have got class in 8 hours time, so lets hope that my next blog will be posted as soon as possible LAH!OK hor?
Till then, ciao amigos!
Derek at 12:53 AM A busy new life; same old lazy me
It's confirmed, ages ago, that I am a super ultra huge procrastinator, but what have I done to change this life threatening fact???? NOTHING!!
Needless to say that I've spent the whole mid-sem break playing playing playing and nothing but play. All the I swear, I'm so gonna do it, I'm determined, I'm 110% sure yadaa yadaa yadaa are just rubbish words that came out from my mouth!!Thinking that I am going to work hard to achieve good grades for this semester, but seems like history might repeat again. NOOOO............*drowning*
Oh well, life has been very packed with entertainment lately, I have no time for everything, including my daily scheduled 8-12 optus free time chat. THIS IS RIDICULOUS!
Am so glad that I've met this bunch of new friends, we share the same interest, same artistic thoughts, and we are VERY VERY critical, just can't help but "acting" so professional. LOL!! But it's for the good purpose, as the chinese saying goes," no critics, no improvement".
MAN.....looking at the clock in Baileau, 10.50am, gotta rush for next class......will be continue...
Derek at 10:35 AM THANK YOU PPL FOR ALL THE SUPPORT AND WISHES
Really appreciate how you guys supported me, I felt that I've disappointed u guys....=(
I have done my best and I must say the rest are really very good. None of us can 100% guaranteed to get into top 4, however I am really happy that Trudy got into top 4, I knew she could go very far right from the start. Congrats Trudy!!!
Oh well......perhapes I am just not good enough, or not good looking enough to get some extra points, or just mainly because the guys are all very similar standards, it's harder to judge them.....Anyway, the competition is over, now I have to face the reality and work really hard for my studies!!!!! =( again.
The show was a successful one, so happy that I've known these wonderful finalists who are not kiasu at all....they are very supportive to each other...cheers to u guys!
Sading now.......gimme some time to chill out before writing another entry...
Derek at 3:13 AM
